Somber moods ending in hope.

The old proverb goes something like, "You can never go back." Of course, this refers to the passage of time and the everchanging landscape, what Buddhists refer to as impermanence. Take Columbia, or any town for that matter, every single day minute almost imperceptible changes occur. People die. Babies are born. people move. buildings are knocked down or built up. What we once clung to so strongly we find slipping through our fingers. So while Columbia is still Columbia in a great many ways, it too has changed in the months I've been away. Coming back, no matter where it is to, is bittersweet. When I would go to Illinois to visit family and friends, my time was always fast, furious and precious.  I would rush to see as many people as I could and reconnect in person for just a few hours, maybe a meal, some conversation about life and growing old, then on to see the next person. Now so with Columbia, my home for nearly the last decade. As I've grown older the questions are easier to answer. Will I ever come back? probably not for many years unless something too good to pass up is offered.  Will it ever be the same? No. Life tarries on. What and who do I miss? Everyone and everything, even the annoying, to some degree, but I'm not the same, they are not the same, nothing remains the same. Couples fall apart, new loves are found, novel faces fill old familiar places, the ghosts of days gone all around. A dip in the fountain here. A friend's sadness there. Seas of green, black and garnet fill the mind's eye. Weddings. Births. Deaths. Taxes. Life. But I know, this simply isn't home anymore and no matter how familiar it is, I've begun life anew and will leave again soon to face new unforeseen challenges and adventures in a strange new place. I am filled with apprehension and hope.