Wednesday, February 2, 2011

I'm a retard.

Most of you probably already realize the fact that I am indeed a bit retarded. Today, I once again proved it.
I told the boss I'd be taking some admin time to take care of assorted chores; getting my driver's license, registering my truck, buying block heater and trickle charger and so on. I decided to head to the DMV first and knock out 2 birds with one stone. I walked in confident that it would be a breeze, pay some scratch and walk out an Alaskan for the time being. Nope!!
I started the DMV on line drivers course like a champ, I missed the first question. So I pulled the chair up closer to the screen, squinted hard and pushed the spectacles up a little closer to my eyes. I got the second and third ones right, then another wrong on. Whoops. So in the first 4 questions I'm 50%, batting .500 which is good in baseball but not in test taking. The scary part is I was in college for damn near a decade. Undergrad with extra semester, first grad program years without a diploma then another 2 years culminating in one. It's pretty safe to say I've taken hundreds of stupid tests, not including all of the ones I've taken for this cert or that class through the Army and DOD since. I pulled my chair even closer and started using the old multiple guess techniques from the past. Pick out the answers that are clearly wrong and discard. Go with your first instinct. narrow it down the best you can. A few more were correct. Then another wrong one. Ugh!!! I'm going to fail this stupid thing if i'm not careful. Then it happened, I pressed the screen and hit the wrong part of the touch screen. Another wrong. What, No, ah, go back, come on I deserve a do over, that's not what I meant to push, my finger is just too chubby. It hit the wrong button. No, this isn't fair. This sucks. I trudged on to the next question and crossed my fingers. No Whammies, no whammies. Blam. The question that would end my hopes and dreams cold in their tracks.
'If you are convicted of reckless driving what is the penalty?' A. revocation of your driving privelages B. Mandatory suspension of privelages for 1 year. C. Loss of privelages for 6 months and $200 fine. D. $50 fine and supension of privelages for 30 days. I thought revocation too much. $50 too little. So B or C. which is it. Crud. I went with C of course. WRONG!!! It was A. Revocation of driving privelages. Man they are harsh in Alaska. A little reckless driving, my daily routine if you ask my wife, and away goes your license. Well if I had one. So now I have to go back tomorrow and take the test again. I grabbed the booklet to review because I may be a retard but stupid I try to avoid. The kicker is, I passed the online motorcycle course without a hitch. Missed 2 out of 25. Maybe I should just get a motorcycle with a heated seat and studded tires : )

1 comment:

The "MRS" said...

little fat fingas!! hahaha! mwah!