I now know how to get to Sesame Street.

The USO brought Sesame Street to Fort Greely, middle of nowhere, Alaska. They did an excellent job. I got to be part of the show. The opening is a commerical for the USO and sending messages to soldiers via the USO. They played it on a big flatscreen in front of the stage. When the video was over, I got to roll the TV out of the way. I didn't say I got a big part in the show. After rolling the TV away, I worked as security keep the crumbsnatchers in line. I only had a few secret service style diving tackles to keep Elmo and Cookie Monster safe. Some of the kids were fit to be tied. One kid kep slapping his mom's hand in an effort to get her to let go. At one point she had a hold of his thigh and I could see her squeezing it hard everytime he leaned forward to start for the stage area. The actors actually go out into the crowd to hug kids but the costumes are like 7 feet tall so some kids head for the hills but most just scream like teen girls at a Bieber concert. Cracks me up. All in all, it was something special for the kids in the community and they'll remember it for, well, at least a few days.

The actors don't pose for pics with the kids, this is a photo backdrop. They said they tried photo op stuff in the past and it just takes waaaaay to long, even at small events like ours.

Here's the stage. The whole show was lip synched of course to a set music and voice score. They must have practiced it a lot because their timing was awful good. Especially the mouth movements.

Yep. I know how to get to Sesame Street.

Iphone pic of Dome

Here's one last picture of the Easter hike. This one was on my Iphone and I just downloaed it this morning.

This is of the normal trail up which was still full of crusty dep snow that we were postholing through which is why we decided to try bushwacking and the rest is history. I hope to make it up to the top via the backside Sunday afternoon after church. Wish me luck.

Easter Kinderfest Pics

Now that's a cute and cuddly Easter Bunny, not the way I'd look in that same suit. She's like 5 foot nothing and 125 pounds. Add a foot and double the poundage. Scary!!!

Photo opportunity.

We had facepainting.

The youth volunteers had a "cool" easter styling happening. Easter Bunny mafia.

On your mark, get set, go!!! The kids couldn't wait to get to the stash of good eggs.

Happy Easter, Easter Bunny, Bock Bock!

Easter Bunny or Serial Killer, you decide!

My newest hunting mount. Biggest bunny I ever saw and he had a basket full of eggs and candy with him too. double bonus. Hossenfeffer anyone?!

My pre-church Easter attempt, Climb Donnelly Dome, met with certain failure. Never believe anyone named Mark or Brooke. "Oh yeah, it's like an hour hike to the top." Poppycock!! It's 2400 feet of elevation gain over a couple miles. So it's a 4 hour day in the summer without 4 feet of snow drifted along the trail. We decided to bushwack for an hour or so instead. Ugh! Alder scrub, postholing through crusty snowdrifts, cold wind and super soft tundra all around. Glad I didn't twist an ankle. We made it maybe 1/3 of the way up the front face before turning around.

Bushwacker!!

Granites to the East. Pure wilderness. I wanted to get up before sunrise for Easter but seeing as sunrise is 0430 right now, uh, didn't happen.

You can see the car in the distance. Well, okay, I can see the car in the distance, but then I know which green speck of color it is. Where's Waldo?

Joel. My bushwhacker partner, he hates postholing through crusty snow almost as much as I do. Almost.

Yes that is a handgun on Joel's right side. Most folks up here carry guns year round, especially this time of year when the brownies are coming out of hibernation and hungry!! Not me though, I just figured I had to outrun Joel.

At one point I found myself up past my waist in a hole through the snow crust and when I tried to crawl out, the crust just kept breaking underneath me. I slithered across the ice on my belly for 5 feet uphill to get to something more solid.

Shameless self-portrait.

All in all, it was a fun morning. We climbed for about 2 hours total up and down. Huffing and puffing. Didn't break anything. Sweated a lot but lived to tell the tale. Notice Gamecock hat. Clemson sucks.

Afterwards, I shot home, showered, came back to post, went to Easter service and had a healthy ham luncheon. I ate too many carbs though, not a lot of protein choices. Lots and lots of noodle dishes. I am bloated to say the least. Like Thanksgiving day while watching the first football game of the afternoon. Damn you carbs. Damn you.

Happy Easter everyone.

paleo and constipation- warning- bodily function blog below

I made a valiant effort to cut my carbs to zero or darn close on Tuesday and Wednesday. Meat, meat and more meat. Well Thursday I paid the price. My tummy was bothering me all day. It just looked distended. At lunch, in an effort to help clear my system out I ate a gigantic salad with a prepared salad of cauliflower and broccolli on the side. It had some kind of mayonnaise mix holding it together with raisins and grapes. Not bad tasting but I think my digestion was on full lockdown so it came to a scrreching halt when it hit that obstacle. Definitely roadblock instead of speed bump. I weighed myself at the gym last night and had put on like 6 pounds in a day. A lot of it was water weight I'm sure from the prosciutto I had at lunch on Wednesday, too much salt. I was retaining water but a lot of it was my stalled salad. I felt horrible. What to do?! Well dinner was out of the question, you don't shove more TP down a clogged toilet, right?! No. You grab the draino and let it do it's work. So i decided after reading up on natural laxative options that I'd more or less fast for a full day until they did their jobs. Dinner last night was 3 avocoados, good fats to help grease the wheels so to speak and lots of water. The Avos went down easily doused in Crystal hot sauce. Not that there is another  hot sauce. Anyway, off subject. So after my 3 avo meal, I waited and waited and waited. Drank water, and more water. For breakfast I downed an apple, I read that the fiber and pectin help get things on track as well. I waited and waited some more. Slowly but surely things started to move, then finally the big one came today in the middle of the day. When we headed to the gym, I weighed myself. Back down to 252 1/2. I still feel a little bloated but after another dinner of avos tonight, I think I'll be in the clear. If nayone has other suggestions except coffee, tea, cigarettes, straight olive oil or an enima let me know. 

Hippity Hop Hop

I've been wrangled into being the Easter Bunny tomorrow. Yep, that's right, stupid costume and all. Originally, I was going to just take pictures of the crumb snatchers chasing after plastic eggs for candy and crappy chinese made lead filled highly toxic plastic toys. However the GC, who was the furry bastard last year, has skated out this year by taking leave in conjunction with a conference in Texas. S.O.B. That's in reference to the situation, not the boss. There's a pretty cool looking head except it smashes the wearer's nose. After an hour, jut refer to me as pancake nose. There's a suit. I hope it fits. Gloves and shoe covers. I'd be okay with it if it was 10 minutes, you're in, you poop some eggs, you're out. Lickity split. But No!! They want me to sit there with the kids for pictures. I just know one of these little booger eaters is going to piss all over me. I can feel it deep down inside. Now, in general I love children, in one or two on one settings where I get to make the rules. "No peeing on Dan" is top of that list. But in large groups where you have to act a certain way and can't dip if you don't like the way things are progressing, UGH!!!
On a brighter note, if it's not too windy in the early morning, I plan on hiking to the top of Donnelly dome. It's melted enough around here that most of the trails have almost snow on them at the lower elevations. It's supposed to have a spectacular view from the top, so the camera will be in tow. Then I'll take it to the kidorama and get some bunny pics for all the pic fans out there, both of you should be happy! The hike is something like 1500' of elevation gain in a mile and a half.  Most folks can scurry up in under an hour. I haven't really got out and stretched the legs much outside the gym, so it'll be a treat. I've been contemplating a sunrise hike on Sunday in celebration of Easter also. Church isn't until 1100, so there is plenty of time to get up and down, grab some breakfast, then make it to service and special ham lunch afterwards. Good stuff for sure.

Monday through Friday routine

Like most working stiffs, I have fallen into a usual workday routine. Goes something like this.
Wake up.
Cuss at sun for waking me once again. Just let me sleep a bit longer.
crawl out of bed.
Put on sweat pants. Mandatory now that I share a house with a 12 y.o. girl. Walking around in tightie whites or birthday suit is severaly frowned upon.
Grab tooth brush and paste.
Head into bathroom.
Brush jibs and floss (sometimes, the flossing not the brushing, my wife might disagree though given my past)
Admire well sculpted 1 pack in the mirror while making silly faces.
Turn on the shower.
Remove sweats.
Check water temp.
Step in shower.
Lather up.
cuss up storm when leaky toilet upstairs robs the cold water and I get scalded. I have developed a 6th sense about when this might happen. I tried timing it but probably due to the earths rotation and the position of the moon relative to venus it is random. using intuition I've been right once out of 138 showers, which is really pretty good if you think about it.
Shut off shower.
Grab towel.
Smell it to check freshness.
Towel off regardless of funkiness, fresh towels in laundry room. (yes, i'm brilliant)
Admire scalding redness in the mirror on 1 pack abs.
More funny faces.
Sweats go back on.
Scurry into room.
Locate workout clothes, checking for relative funkiness. (using twice saves laundry soap- heal the planet)
Pack gym bag depending on day with clothes, swimsuit or both. Usually both just in case.
Dig out work clothes. Grab keys, money, cards, phone, water bottle.
Fill waterbottle in kitchen.
head out to car.
Cuss for forgetting something on above list (keys, phone, water bottle, underwear)
Head back in house.
Grab offending item.
Back to car.
Start car.
Drive to work.
Fiddle with radio.
Drive off road while fiddling with radio.
Get to gate.
dig for i.d. card. (it is a missile base for Uncle Sam after all)
smile and say "good morning"
Drive to Dining Facility.
Get eggs, bacon, ham and sausage.
Find hot sauce.
douse eggs, bacon, ham and sausage.
Find table.
Devour paleo plate while thinking of hardening arteries and what first heart attack might be like.
Return tray and dirty crockery (good word huh) to washing conveyor.
Head to truck.
Off to office.
Check emails.
Look at to do list.
Do some of to do list tasks
Check emails
update to do list.
1130 rolls around.
Find richard to pester about going to gym.
head to gym.
Workout.
Grab to go lunch from DFAC in styrofoam container.
Check PO Box.
Head back to work to eat styrofoam of mystery meat and salad items.
Whine about lack of degradability of styrofoam and curse Uncle Sam and market economics.
Wander halls looking for people to talk to.
Check emails.
update to do list.
do more tasks on list.
check emails.
more tasks.
head to the gym for second go around.
eliptical, swim, lift, whatever.
Sit in sauna.
Shower.
head home.
Watch prime time tv.
go to bed at 9pm unless in middle of good movie or a great Food network show is on.

Repeat Monday through Friday.
Sound Familiar to anyone? maybe minus the gym visits.