Arctic Luau Ruined

Saturday night, I was involved in my first special event on Fort Greely sponsored by MWR, the Arctic Luau.

Tropical decorations were hung by the chimney with care.

In hopes that a special guest would be medium rare.

The smell of pork wafted through the air.

Eminating from this well armed pair.

Sumo suits brought a tear to the eye.

Leave some mac and cheese for the others, Guy.

The Mileys danced with a special flair. 

The MWR staff let down their hair.

The Colonel thought the night was a hit. 

Then someone brought out this happy horsesh*t!!!

A Normal saturday in Interior Alaska- I guess?!

I guess today was a normal day for Fort Greely and Delta Junction. I'm not sure since I don't have a lot to draw from yet, but it seemed pretty normal to me.

I awoke at about 9 am, I knew it was late because the sun was coming through the crack in the window shade. Normally, I get up earlier but I was watching a show on fishing down around Kodiak Island and these two brothers looked like they were having a blast catching fish. I ended up staying up way past my bed time. I really didn't have anything special this morning to do but kill some time until the DMV opened so I could finally get my AK driver's license and start my year long wait to become a resident which is a good deal because the hunting prices go way down for Dall Sheep, Mountain Goat, Caribou, Moose and Bison (if you draw a tag). Plus it opens up a lot of federally managed areas for fishing and hunting only open to residents. Then of course there is the Permanent Fund Dividend. This is the money that comes from oil leases and the reason Alaska has almost no taxes, income, property or sales. The PFD last year was $1281 for every man woman and child. For a household of say 5, that's a bit over $6K in a check that comes in October, right before winter, which pays for a lot of heating fuel in AK and probably keeps the heating oil people in business and a lot of families from freezing to death, literally.

I needed to kill some time before the DMV opened and decided to give the DFAC a day off. I headed into town and rolled into the Hard Wok Cafe. Yep, that is not a typo. It's a little 4 table shack, owned and operated by a little old chinese lady. I ordered General Tsos, an eggroll and green tea. She whipped my lunch up in probably 5 minutes. It was actually pretty darn good and very spicy, I had to ask for some ice water. I sat there and picked at my General's and read my DMV handbook. I failed the test twice before and wanted to be sure to pass this time. I kept fouling up the penalty questions of which there were a few. if you spit on the sidewalk the mandatory jail sentence is..... How the hell am I supposed to remember that and what does it have to do with being a good driver?!! After lunch I shot over the the DMV and yes indeed i passed. however, I forgot to bring proof of physical residence. I brought my mailing but nothing along the lines of a lease or mortgage or bill of sale of a home, well, because I don't have any of those things. I'm on a contract in a hotel more or less. So it would take another trip to the DMV to get my license. This was turning into an ordeal.

I headed back onto post to check up on the set-up on the Arctic Luau. The Luau is a get together for the kids in the morning and adults at night. food, games, costumes, contests. Just a fun way to kill a few hours. I popped in and check up on the kiddies. They all seemed to be having a blast, so I headed to my office and typed up a letter showing my residency and had Richard sign it since he works for MWR. Pretty darn official. Anyway, the DMV accepted it, and now I'm official. Yippee.

After I got done at the DMV, i decided to see what the stores had on the shelves. There are a couple of gas stations, an IGA, and a couple specialty restaurants. I popped into half a dozen to see what was what. Afterwards I drove around neighborhoods or what would be considered neighborhoods around Delta. I am looking at one area that is centrall located that has a 1500 sq ft cabin for sale on three and a half acres. It's in a hilly area back in the trees, very pretty.

This is a shot of the road heading into the neighborhood. You go down this road, take a right then head a couple hundred yards back and take another right. There are probably 20 or so houses back in the area but each sits on 3 to 5 acres of land and the trees are so thick and the houses set back you only see the few that are right on the road. This shot is looking back north towards Fairbanks.

As I headed on to post around sunset, I saw these two digging in the snow and munching on some leftover grass. I like how they kneel on their front legs to get down to the grass. I shot some pictures from behind the truck and decided to get closer, I didn't have the telephoto on the camera. I stepped out into the open and the moose on the right stood up and stared straight at me, the closer I got the more upright it stood and the further back its ears started to go. I decided not to get any closer so these shots are the best I could muster this evening.

'Go ahead buddy take another step, I dare you!'

Here's the proof that I passed the stupid test. I'm official. I almost failed the eye exam though, my right eye is borderline at 20/40 corrected. Nothing ever comes into sharp focus on that side, especially when you backlight them like the vision tests at the DMV do. Stupid asthigmatism. I'm going to get an eye transplant one of these damn days. I'll probably go with a nice steel blue eye just to freak people out, one blue one hazel. I also had a bit of hat head I guess from the stocking cap because my haircut looks very Forrest Gump in my pic. Maybe it will convince the Alaska State Troopers to be lenient with me when I eventually get pulled over.

Fully Winterized Freedom

This is the arctic entry to the Autocrafts, they too leave the interior door open. Kind of defeats the purpose.

If you click on this picture, you can see the icecicles hanging from the undercarriage like little stalagtites. It took 4 full hours of being in a heated garage to melt most all of the ice off. The melting ice is a pain when you are working underneath, you get your own private little rainstorm.

Here's a shot of the ice build up under the skid plate. The thing weighed probably 40 pounds. You can see the puddle under the truck is getting bigger. I'd have to stop every once in awhile and squeegie the water down the drain.

Close up of the skid plate.

Winterization consists of three parts. A block heater to keep your coolant/antifreeze in a liquid state. This goes into a freezeplug on the side of the block. Then there is a heating pad that glues to the oil pan to keep the oil a little more fluid and doing its lubrication job. The last piece is a way to keep your battery happy. The old way was to use an electric blanket or a hot pad for it to sit on, but the new way, or so I'm told, is to use a trickle charger, which heats from the inside and keeps the battery topped off. The cost is about the same so I went with the trickle charger. All three parts are on the cart along with coolant to replace what drains out when I knock out the freeze plug and a Mountain Dew to keep me topped off.

Do the Dew. Mmmmmm! High Fructose Corn Syrup!!

Here's the trickle charger installed on the side of the battery. Everything plugs into a standard outdoor multi plug which gets routed out the front of the grill. A few zipties to keep everything out of the moving belts and off the exhausts and you are good to go. Being my first time, I of course had to rearrange everything 10 times to get the fit just right. The oil pan heater cord was the shorty so I had to make sure that it wouldn't come unplugged with rough usage. This is my new fun hunting and fishing rig, so it will see some dirt roads along the way.

Here she is, fully winterized. I removed the spot lights that weren't being utilized, took off the plastic cover for the license plate and lost the side bars. I think she looks better already and runs and drives a ton better without all that damn ice frozen underneath. You can see the plug in hanging out the front.

After I finished in the shop, I headed to town for a taco and to buy an extension cord and a good ice scraper. I've already found a bumper in a u-pull lot in Fairbanks, so hopefuly I get up there in the next few week and give the old girl a $40 facelift. that'll make her look a decade younger overnight.

I'm a retard.

Most of you probably already realize the fact that I am indeed a bit retarded. Today, I once again proved it.
I told the boss I'd be taking some admin time to take care of assorted chores; getting my driver's license, registering my truck, buying block heater and trickle charger and so on. I decided to head to the DMV first and knock out 2 birds with one stone. I walked in confident that it would be a breeze, pay some scratch and walk out an Alaskan for the time being. Nope!!
I started the DMV on line drivers course like a champ, I missed the first question. So I pulled the chair up closer to the screen, squinted hard and pushed the spectacles up a little closer to my eyes. I got the second and third ones right, then another wrong on. Whoops. So in the first 4 questions I'm 50%, batting .500 which is good in baseball but not in test taking. The scary part is I was in college for damn near a decade. Undergrad with extra semester, first grad program years without a diploma then another 2 years culminating in one. It's pretty safe to say I've taken hundreds of stupid tests, not including all of the ones I've taken for this cert or that class through the Army and DOD since. I pulled my chair even closer and started using the old multiple guess techniques from the past. Pick out the answers that are clearly wrong and discard. Go with your first instinct. narrow it down the best you can. A few more were correct. Then another wrong one. Ugh!!! I'm going to fail this stupid thing if i'm not careful. Then it happened, I pressed the screen and hit the wrong part of the touch screen. Another wrong. What, No, ah, go back, come on I deserve a do over, that's not what I meant to push, my finger is just too chubby. It hit the wrong button. No, this isn't fair. This sucks. I trudged on to the next question and crossed my fingers. No Whammies, no whammies. Blam. The question that would end my hopes and dreams cold in their tracks.
'If you are convicted of reckless driving what is the penalty?' A. revocation of your driving privelages B. Mandatory suspension of privelages for 1 year. C. Loss of privelages for 6 months and $200 fine. D. $50 fine and supension of privelages for 30 days. I thought revocation too much. $50 too little. So B or C. which is it. Crud. I went with C of course. WRONG!!! It was A. Revocation of driving privelages. Man they are harsh in Alaska. A little reckless driving, my daily routine if you ask my wife, and away goes your license. Well if I had one. So now I have to go back tomorrow and take the test again. I grabbed the booklet to review because I may be a retard but stupid I try to avoid. The kicker is, I passed the online motorcycle course without a hitch. Missed 2 out of 25. Maybe I should just get a motorcycle with a heated seat and studded tires : )

More Small World Encounters at the end of the road

Today in a meeting about our upcoming Luau this Saturday, Jess told everyone that I came up to Alaska from Fort Jackson. Lt. Col Miley's wife, Tracy, and the Sergeant Major both gave out big hoorahs. Tracy then told me she graduated high school in Lexington SC, just across the river from Columbia.
Of course, she failed the big test, Gamecocks or Tigers?! Yuck, another Clemson fan. Probably growing up on the wrong side of the river has a lot to do with it. Anyway, she started talking about tailgating for Gamecock games. They would tailgate at the AG building, the same one Hollie and I tailgated at this past season. I told her we tailgated with CWO Tripp Hutto and family and her eyes got great big, 'No way' was her reply!! I thought the Army was a small world, but now it's looking like the National Guard is a much smaller world indeed.

Postscript: They only tailgated for Carolina-Clemson games, which we have won the last 2 years. Go Cocks!!!

My new address

It appears that enough people live off the beaten path around here and are spread out enough that having a PO Box is pretty darn legitimate. So I finally broke down and got one. Wasn't sure what to get to seem more 'Alaskan', the Fort Greely box or the Delta Junction box. I asked a few of my co-workers and really it boiled down to convenience. Since we may end up living on post, since we may live south of town instead of up near the post office and since I will be coming on post 5 days a week mostly likely to work, I went with Greely. The window isn't open as much and if we decide to we can always change down the road. For the time being here is my new address, they accept packages of any size as well, so feel free to send letters, boxes or even crates of care package materials :)

Daniel Cain
PO Box 31151
Fort Greely, AK 99731

Cold Weather Lesson #2

I walked to the DFAC for lunch today. it was a bit warmer and not as windy as yesterday so i figured I'd see if the truck would start as a lark. Vroom. She fired right up without hesitation. I figured the cold had drained the battery, apparantly it just made the crank too sluggish to turn over. Doesn't matter though since I ordered the necessary parts to winterize her.  I called Napa in town and asked about battery blankets, he recommended either a warming pad or better yet a trickly charger. Since you are plugging the thing in either way, I went with the trickle charger. Basically it warms the battery from the inside. I also have to get a freeze plug block heater and an oil pan pad heater and the connection to plug it altogether, basically a strip that everything plugs into, it better be much heavier built than the one in the living room behind the television since it cost $20! i already let the boss know tommorow late afternoon is my errand day to finish up with this truck stuff, get my registration, turn in my title, get my Alaska driver's license and probably see Fish and Game in case I decide to go ice fishing sooner than later.