I apologize to anyone who has looked at this thing in the last month. I've been in a funk as I've been spending waaaaaay too much time trying to figure out the direction of my life and also trying to keep up with the pace of stuff at work these days. Ugh.
What's been on my mind as of late has been the next step in my career and life. Since I work for the Army, I am limited to Army bases lest I forfeit my retirement (if it is still there in the future, only Congress knows what unfunded liabilities they are going to fund) and the 14 years of experience and training that I've acquired. This isn't a bad thing necessarily, Army bases can actually be pretty decent places to work with lots of amenities, most I help provide. In the last couple of months, I have applied for jobs in Alaska, Louisiana, Augusta GA, and now Davenport IA. All have their pros and cons. The problem I have is I don't necessarily know which may be offered to me. So if I get offered one that may not be my best option, do I say no thank you, not knowing if one or any of the others may come through. Jobs usually take 4-6 months or more to fill from the time of the first announcement. Do I want to wait here another 6 months?! I hate the drive to work. I hate the drive to stuff. I hate living in the middle of nowhere. I hate not really having friends nearby. Sure, I like the job for the most part. It is challenging and I am good at it, but I dread the drive every single morning. There is also the financial to think about. Each job has benefits to it financially, but they are not equal. Does the final salary matter the most or does the quality of life of the geographical area? Iowa is very close to family and friends and might pay well, but I might not even be considered. Alaska pays a little less, but in terms of beauty and adventure, it can't be beat. Augusta is close to friends and the weather is usually pretty amazing. How do I decide? Where does my heart lie? My friends and family in each place would love for me to choose the location nearest them, I know I am blessed to have so many friends around this great big country of ours.
Then there's definitely the personal. Do I want to be involved in Rugby still? Do I want to hunt and fish? Meet someone? Stay single? Have kids or not? As I am getting older, those opportunity costs grow larger as this may be the last chance for a great many things due to bad knees and ticking biological clocks. I found myself writing an email to my brother just the other day concerning my finances and wishes should I die unexpectedly. I have no plans to die, but who does except the suicidal. I'm just at that age I guess. I guess seeing the family deal with it all from G'mas passing in September brought it home harder than before. Someone would have to come to California and get my stuff. That's a haul, it's not across town. Luckily, I don't have much, but it's still a job, it's still extra stress and work for someone.
Throw the politics of my job into the mix and sometimes I just want to say the hell with it and join the merchant marine :) Not really, but you get the idea. So I continue to rack my brain and count my blessings that I have options. Real quality options that so many in this country do not have and good friends. Lifelong friends that I care about and that care about me. And family that will always be there for me through thick and thin. I guess I know what I have to give thanks for come this Thursday. All of the above and so much more.
